It Worked Fifteen Minutes Ago
Sea stories told from just above Davy Jones’ locker.

What do you get when you cross a retired Navy corpsman, a crew of lovable degenerates, and the floating bureaucracy known as Military Sealift Command?

You get this: a hilarious, unflinching, and occasionally profane fictionalized memoir of life at sea.

B.A. Ritzenthaler takes you aboard the USNS Hudson—a ship held together by rust, grit, and just enough common sense to stay afloat. From supply snafus to medical chaos, liberty port misadventures to leadership lessons hard-won, these stories capture the absurdity and humanity of serving as a civilian in a military organization.

Told with sharp humor, brutal honesty, and a sailor’s sense of timing, It Worked Fifteen Minutes Ago is for anyone who’s ever served, ever wondered what it’s really like, or ever been one smart-ass away from snapping.

You Suck

Tito Schultz followed his dad into the Navy, but had no idea what what he was doing.

Then a pigeon started talking to him.

Not just any pigeon—Bob, a sharp-eyed, streetwise philosopher with the patience of a saint and the delivery of a stand-up comic. What begins as one bizarre conversation spirals into a life-changing education delivered by pigeons, hippos, elephants, whales, burros, zoo volunteers, parents, and one relationship that might be more serious than Tito is ready to admit.

As Tito stumbles through family secrets, awkward lessons in love, cross-border adventures, and the emotional blind spots of being a well-meaning human male, Bob keeps showing up with brutal honesty, inconvenient wisdom, and exactly the kind of guidance Tito never asked for.

Set between San Diego, the zoo, the sea, and the beautiful chaos of everyday life, You Suck is a warm, hilarious, and unexpectedly heartfelt novel about learning when to listen, when to let go, and when the universe sends wisdom in feathers.

Perfect for readers who love quirky humor, talking animals, magical realism, romantic comedy, and stories that somehow make you laugh and hit you in the feelings on the same page.

Sometimes the worst thing anyone can tell you is “you suck.”

Sometimes it’s exactly what you need to hear.

Coming Fall 2026

Navy Limericks:
A Career: Five Lines at a Time

There was a Chief of some age,
Who heard limericks were all the rage.
His sea stories he told
Were often quite bold,
So come back when they’re all on the page.